Seven things? About me?

PinkAppleCore has tagged me in a meme to reveal seven things about myself. I'm not really sure if there are seven things about me that are interesting enough to reveal. I'm certain there aren't seven things that will be interesting to read.

There are many brilliant medical blogs. Almost all of them are anonymous and I agree with this policy as I think it encourages useful discussion. I have burning opinions on many medical matters and at one point I did think that I would use this space as a forum for these ideas. Sometimes I have done just that, for example the Kerrie Wooltoton case.



Recent events have led me to ponder deeply about me the person versus me the doctor. Sometimes, being a doctor completely takes over. That it takes over day-to-day life is a given. I remember as a child being fascinated by the concept that supermarkets stay open very late, even all night, and some grocers even open on Christmas Day. Who, I asked, would go to the supermarket at midnight? The answer is an obstetrician. This bizarre shuffling of normality makes doctors an elusive species. We even struggle to connect with each other; if you end up at the opposite end of the rota from your buddy, six months will pass before the rota is reshuffled and you can speak on the phone in a mutual time zone.

My personal time zone is in a permanent state of flux driven by the unnatural arrangement of my working hours. This is not a grumble: it is just a description of an occupation that is more a way of life than a job. And I love my job, and cast my life around it. It is draining. It is not easy for those closest to you. After a while, I found that my sense of me the person had merged with me the doctor. I didn't notice it happen. I had begun to define myself by my job. This is common amongst doctors and it drives us to do our job well. But it only works if you are able to give of yourself 110%. 110% of the time.



Becoming a patient myself completely upset my lifework-worklife balance. Ultimately, I had to take time off - for the first time ever. For my safety, and also for the safety of my patients. You really do need to be 100% well to work safely on the delivery suite. And so I found myself at home this summer, in search of distraction, diversion and a new means of self definition. I remembered that I used to enjoy cooking for the pleasure of it. I dug out my paints. And I conquered my sewing machine phobia. And strangely, I feel more like myself now than I have done in a very long time. Being back at work certainly helps, but this time I will make a super superhuman effort to carry on the little things that make me, well, me. That is why, rather than being a shrine to medical politics, this blog is a melting pot of the things that make me feel like me.

Having said that, I do have a couple of medical posts pending, but I will bury them in between recipes and scrapbook pages so no-one has to read them unless they wish to. And in the spirit of medical blogging, I am keen to retain my anonymity. Just in case I ever really want to get on my high horse about something!



Back to food etc tomorrow! Here is a sneaky preview of a what I've been cooking with this weekend whilst trying to put together a recipe for Beet 'n Squash YOU this month. Hopefully it will be good enough to share soon!





(Btw, the picture of people in white coats was taken during a protest march against changes to medical training; apart from the food, the other snaps are just random pretty pictures to break up the post!)